all the news that's fit to pope

So much to talk about... this is what happens when you only blog twice a month, right?

(I actually do that in my journal, too. Chastise myself for not writing enough, that is. Every time I miss a few days/weeks/months, the first entry back invariably starts "wow, look how long it's been since I've written!" Old habits, as they say, die hard...)

Where to begin. I guess with weekend trips I've taken recently. (I'll take weekend trips I've taken recently for $200, Alex!)

Two weekends ago I finally made my long-awaited (2-3 months) return trip to Yosemite. It was awesome; my great friend Thea happened to be in town that weekend, so we got up at 5am (after staying up til 3am, first in the city and then at my house, hanging out and packing), drove 7 hours (which includes two wrong turns and an hour and a half drive to our trailhead once we got into the park itself), and then hiked 8 miles in to our base camp. Over a mountain. Well, very big hill at least.

Actually, now that I think about it, it was the opposite of "over a mountain." It was down one side of a big hill, and then up another. So through a valley I guess is what you'd call that. And no, I'm not going to go back and edit that so it just says "under a valley" instead of "over a mountain." What fun would that be?

So. Day 2. We plan the "Half Dome Hike," one of the signature hikes of Yosemite. Half dome is the picture you've most likely seen of Yosemite if you've only seen pictures. People come from all over the world to do this hike. And from all over the world they came on that day, as well...

It was an extremely popular hike. (Read: crowded as hell.) (Oooh, I like that use of "as hell"! I have always wondered about using the "as hell" preposition for everything; I myself have been known to say things like "cold as hell," which makes no sense at all. Maybe "cold as Eskimo hell" or something... but hell is generally portrayed as kinda hot. So it was my assertion that "hot as hell" or "evil as hell" or some such thing would be appropriate, but not much else... but "crowded as hell"? Yeah, I like that. Good social commentary there.) The hike itself isn't that burly until the very end... and we skipped that part. Not because it was burly, but because it was so freaking crowded. The final ¼ mile or so is a nearly vertical scale up the backside of Half Dome. There is a railing, and wooden steps every five feet or so. On this day, it was ass-to-face the whole way up, and a ½ hour-45 minute wait to even start the ascent. And it was already midday (we slept in after our epic journey the day before), so we wanted to make sure we got back to camp before sunset. We did, and got to go swimming in the mountain-fed river as reward. Sweeeet...

The other reason we came back down at that point was because Thea got stung by a yellowjacket. At the base of the final ascent of Half Dome. On her inner thigh. As far from the car as we could possibly be... which means she had to hike back out 10+ miles with a really painful sting in the worst possible place for hiking it could be. Did I mention that Thea is a superbadass? Cause she is.

Anyways, there's a good "Jerod is an eeediot" story that goes along with this trip, too. They always warn you about bears at Yosemite, of course. They're all over. It's bear-crowded as bear-hell up in there. So you can't leave food unattended at all (those old Yogi Bear cartoons ain't lying... though that's set in Yellowstone I guess). Little mice and birds will actually swoop in if you leave food unattended for more than a few seconds, but it's the bears you've gotta worry about if you leave food out of bear lockers overnight.

Or, for example, in your car for three days.

The funny thing is, we were totally obsessed with not leaving food in the truck. We had brought literally 3x as much food as we needed, so we were trying to figure out how to not leave it in the car, but not have to carry it in with us, but also not have to throw it all away. We ended up giving away as much as we could (we had cookies) and then carrying in way too much. But for some reason (we're maintaining it was the lack of sleep) we both left food in the truck. Not only food: fruit. I left two bananas, Thea left an apple. I remember with amusement the extreme disconnect going on in my brain. On the one hand I was running around repeating to myself, "can't leave food, can't leave food..." while on the other I must've looked at the bananas literally a dozen times, sitting there under the front seat, and thinking, "those'll suuuuure be tasty on Sunday..." The lesson, as always... I'm an idiot.

But it all turned out okay. Truck fine. Lesson learned. The lesson that you don't leave food in your car at Yosemite, that is. I already knew I was an idiot. The only consolation was that we both did it. If only one of us had it might have gotten ugly.

Okay, how about recent weekend trips for $400!

Last weekend was a big dance/activism festival north on 101 called EarthDance. I saw some amazing music: The Coup, Lyrics Born, Don Carlos (founding member of Black Uhuru), some really good d.j. music... ver' ver' nice. Lots of dancing. Met some cool people. All in all a good time for all.

Finally, normal weekday life: I got another job! Yep, that's right... I guess that puts it at five now? Including that silly one I haven't done anything for yet. But the new one is exciting; I'm tutoring English. It will start with just some SAT test prep for high schoolers, but eventually will turn into tutoring kids of all ages in whatever they need. There's even some basic curriculum building stuff I'll get to do. I just started this week, so I'll give an update once I've settled in a bit more.

Otherwise just pushing along. New challenges and opportunities popping up every day. Just trying to keep up.

I was going to give a shout-out to the state of Seattle football, too, but then both the Huskies and Hawks lost this weekend. The Huskies is understandable; they're still looking solid, and that Locker kid is pretty dope... but the Hawks losing to the freakin' Cardinals??? Bleah. And so much for the Mariners... oh well. At least our franchise rookie didn't go down with a career-threatening knee injury... sucks for Portland. I actually do feel bad for them, I have always like the Blazers, especially once they changed divisions... and now they have both Brandon Roy and Martell Webster and all, it's hard not to be a fan if you're from the PNW... hopefully Oden will come back strong. But, in the meantime... viva Kevin Durant and his own personal Scottie Pippen, Jeff Green! Pope out!

Hot damn, that was a good rant!

Sometimes I like to see how far I can take something, you know? But yeah, that was a fine one.

I figured I'd better hop back on here and actually talk about my life for a few paragraphs, just in case anyone is still actually reading this thing.

So what is going on... spent half of August traveling in the northlands, that was great. First and last weekends in Southern Oregon staying with my friends Duward and Julie. They are hosts of the finest ilk, and that's a fact. Both times I arrived hot and sweaty after driving 7 hours, and was greeted by a tall glass of good beer from their kegerator and a delicious meal. How's that for hello? And the first weekend was a blast, Duward and I kayaked down the Rogue River with a big rafting group of people with developmental disabilities and their caretakers. Two tons of fun.

Then I went surfing with my buddy Joe, my first day in Seattle and then one of my last days, too. (I'm just this moment noticing the weird bookend quality of the trip). I've gone surfing once since getting back here, too, and actually bought my own wetsuit. I stood up three times on both my second and third trips. I've hooked up with a guy down here who's surfed all over the area, a good friend of Billy's who I hung out with several times a few years back when they visited Seattle. Last weekend, after going dancing on Friday night, I went over to his house and hung out by the pool with him and his girlfriend and Billy and a couple of their friends, drinking Tanqueray and tonic and bbq-ing; then stayed in their guest room that night; went surfing on Sunday; and then feasted on the most delicious oysters I've ever had in my life in the little town where we surfed. Not a bad weekend, eh?

The middle of the trip was defined mostly by hanging out with Glenn and Noreen; first at our folks' place on the Kitsap Peninsula, and then in Seattle most of the second week. As always, great times. Not really anyone I'd rather spend time with, when it comes down to it.

By the last weekend I was in a good spot; I was having a great time and could easily have stayed through at least the end of the month, but I was also ready to be home and have my own space and not be living out of my truck. Always nice when you could happily go either way. Also nice was that I had just enough grounding events happen during the trip to keep me from really getting burned out. Surfing is, as the cliché goes, quite Zen. And the rafting was a good energy burn, too. And I got to work with my yoga teacher in Seattle twice, too, which was really positive. She has a lot of background in dance, and she's just starting to bring that back into her lessons, which is a pretty perfect synchronicity to my own current situation, of course...

Oh yeah! Issue One of Conscious Dancer is officially printed. You can check out the .pdf here: http://www.consciousdancer.com. Give it a peep, any and all feedback is appreciated. I'm trying to get a presence going in the Seattle area, so any story ideas or anything else are welcome. Also, if anyone knows a good space in the city that might be willing to stack a pile of mags in their place, please let me know.

Otherwise, things are good. I am looking for another job or two, which will bring the grand total to 4, or 5, or 6, depending on how many I get and how many of my current jobs actually count. (I still haven't done anything for that essay writing service. My soul remains unsoiled.) I'm going to Yosemite again this weekend, really excited about that.

I guess that's about it... I was going to go on a rant about the Mariners, but I just don't have the energy. Suffice to say I feel like Michael Corleone at the end of Godfather III... "just when I think I'm out... they PULLLLL ME BACK IN!" God damn them.

...and then I skipped August

So I was watching Factotum the other night. Good movie; Matt Dillion as the Chuck Bukowski alter ego Henry Chinaski, Lili Taylor, Marisa Tomei. Funny and interesting, even if Dillion seemed to be doing his best Mr. Blonde imitation. But the Chinaski character said an interesting thing at one point; basically, it was that he had all these words inside of him, that had to come out; it wasn't a choice, it was a necessity, like he'd explode if he didn't let them out. I'd read that before, wherever Bukowski wrote it first, and it really resonated with me. Probably not why'd you think, though. What occurred to me is that I generally feel the exact opposite of that sentiment. Most of the stuff I really care about is impossible to put down in words. Often I'll sit down to write and will just feel sort of this sucking void, and every word I try to get down sucks a little more out of me. Maybe it's like those stories about aboriginals who are scared to death of having their pictures taken, because it takes a bit of their soul and solidifies and traps it. I dunno. But I do know that, for the most part, words do a sort of disservice to my strongest sentiments. Imagine those times you've shared an extremely deep and spiritual experience with someone; could be as simple as a sunset, or as complicated as simultaneous orgasm. Have you tried to talk about it, and just had nothing to say? And then looked into their eyes, and known that nothing had to be said, that nothing could be said, that it was pointless to even try?

Anyways. Maybe this is just an extended excuse for why it's been so long since my last entry.

But yeah, Factotum. Fine movie. I've seen a lot of good movies recently; I can't actually recall one I've watched in the past few months that's been a disappointment, with the notable exception of The Simpsons. I know, I blogged about it awhile back and was generally positive, but in hindsight it kinda pisses me off. The first 20 minutes or so is good and funny. Solid like the show has been the past few seasons, certainly not as good as its heyday but still some decent laughs. But the last hour plus pretty much sucked. You can see James L. "Spanglish" Brooks's fingerprints all over it. Very maudlin and saccharine. Not all that funny either.

But Superbad? Holy crap, that movie's funnier than dick! And I just watched The Bourne Ultimatum, which was really really good too. The lines that I think define each movie:

Superbad: "well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that it's located on my cock!"

B.U.: "Sir, he drove off the roof..."

Both earned solid 4s on NetFlix. My biggest bitch about NetFlix has always been the lack of ½ star choices when rating movies; there is a big, big difference between 2.5 and 3 stars, just as there is a big difference between 4 and 4.5 stars. Well, that was my biggest beef about NetFlix. Now it's this stupid "community" thing. I log on one day and discover that all my "friends" have been replaced with a "community," which encompasses basically everyone and their dumbass dogs. I mean really; why the FUCK do I care about what Joe Dickballs in Topeka, who shares a 45% movie match with me (almost definitely based on the movies I watched while stoned or drunk or both), has to say about Wild Hogs??? Here's a clue, NetFlix... FUCK OFF!!! EAT A BOWL OF DICKS!!!! AND ONCE YOU'VE POLISHED OFF THAT BOWL OF DICKS, GIVE ME MY GODDAMN FRIENDS BACK!!!!

Actually, I'm going to throw it to my brother for this one. And I quote (from an email he sent me): "'Friends' was changed to 'community'. I don't like it as much - it has all this info I don't want. Including some guy's list of 'French classiques,' which includes three movies by Louis Bunuel, who is Spanish."

So there you go. Joe Dickballs loves French movies made by Spanish directors. I think we call all sleep easier tonight, eh?